Spotting The Thin Line Between Love And Codependency

By definition, codependency occurs when one partner starts prioritizing their significant other's needs and wants above their own. There might be difficulty in drawing a line where one partner's sense of self ends and the other's individuality begins. If your happiness is so closely tied to your partner's that you can't be content unless and until they are happy, you might be in a codependent union. 

Relationship expert Margaret Paul actually used the word "manipulation" in reference to codependency. Stemming from a place of low self-worth, one person in the relationship might take on the role of an eternal custodian — always doing or saying things to make sure their significant other is happy so that they themselves can feel valued. On the other side of that coin, codependency can also develop if one partner is unable to make themselves happy on their own and they're constantly looking to their partner to meet their needs. Either end of this is not sustainable in the long run, as the giver can suffer from feelings of anxiousness, exhaustion, and neglect, while the taker would typically experience feelings of emptiness because they're reliant on their significant other to feel any sense of joy or fulfillment. 

In a healthy loving relationship, both parties have a good sense of self and there's a fair amount of give and take. You're each able to make yourselves happy, independent of the other.